Bishopbric

I was sitting in church today remembering what it was like to have Chad in the Bishopbric in Albuquerque. I wanted to write this down so we don't forget it... One of the things I was most worried/stressed/concerned about when he got called was getting to church on time by myself, and sitting alone with three little kids. (Bryson was seven, Abbey was five, and Parker was one when he got called). Anyone who knows me well, knows that punctuality is not one of my strengths. But during the two years that Chad was in the Bishopbric we were late to church ONCE - and that was because got a brand new building and our time changed and I kinda forgot, so I don't really count that time. But, to me - in my life - that was such a miracle and such an evidence of the Lord strengthening and blessing me.

Also, I was pregnant with Claire during that time. She was born in October and Chad was released in March. I didn't know how I would handle her in sacrament meeting with the other kids needs and nursing, etc. I used the book "Baby Wise" with her and had her on a pretty decent schedule, but it was still a miracle that she slept through every single sacrament meeting from the day she was born until the very Sunday that Chad was released. On the day he was released she didn't do it. Amazing. The other kids were incredible too. I think I only had to leave the meeting with one of them two or three times during that whole two years. I can honestly testify that Heavenly Father was blessing (strengthening) us - me - to be able to do what He asked us to do.

One other thing I wanted to record was that Chad always saved us a seat in the chapel. It was on the left hand side 3-5 rows from the front. And he had secret signs with each of the kids so they could "wave" to each other while he sat on the stand and other people wouldn't know. With Abbey their sign was that each person would pull on the right ear. With Bryson it was "wiping" dust off the left shoulder. With Parker it was scratching the nose.

Personal

Today I had kind of an epiphany. Let me back up. Yesterday was a pretty normal day, but something made it better. I had just re-read President Eyring's talk about remembering the goodness of God in our lives. So I have been working on doing that during my nightly prayers. Last night I remembered: reading with Parker - laying on his bed, laughing together, watching him sound out little words and be so excited when he figured one out. I remembered watching Bryson in his baseball tryouts and thinking what a handsome kid he is turning into (he really needs to keep playing baseball because he looks so dang cute in a baseball hat :). I remembered combing through Abbey's long, gorgeous hair that morning; listening to her happily playing play-dough with Parker as the very first thing she did when she got home from school, and later roller-blading in the basement. I remembered holding sweet little Claire on my lap and reading to her for nap time and listening to all the words she is learning every day. ("Waaa dehhr" - water is one of my favorites.) So, I did this last night, and this morning I remembered all of those things and I decided to tell Parker about it. And when I did, I felt a huge wave of sorrow for not being more grateful EVERY DAY for the blessing of being home with my kids. I have never felt like a "natural" mother. Loving it is something I have had to work at - a lot. And yet I think allowing myself to feel that way so much has really hampered my ability to ENJOY my kids and the fleeting time when we are home together. I went to my room and knelt in tears and prayed for forgiveness for not being more grateful. I hope this is a turning point for me. I know I have enjoyed my kids. I don't mean that. But I think I have always kept a little place in my heart that was a little resentful of all the sacrifices, of the loss of "self", of the lack of any outward "pay". I want to get rid of that and allow this precious time to be filled with the JOY of these moments that I know will soon be gone.

Marriage

Well, I haven't been writing something every day. I will do better. Today I want to write about marriage - because this is my thing and I can.
I have been thinking lately about what has made our marriage good. Last night after we prayed together I was thinking about the benefit that has been to our marriage - to kneel together, holding hands, and pray every night. If someone was getting married and he or she asked me what advice I had for keeping a marriage good and strong and happy, I would first tell them to pray together.
Another thing that goes along with that is to go to bed together. A lot of times that is the only time we have to talk to each other uninterrupted. I think it is good for a marriage to go to bed at the same time - together.
I am grateful that Chad has been supportive of the idea of dating. I know lots of women would like more dates, but Chad (and I think some of this has been learned as a counselor) is good about dating - a few times a month.
Lots of couples struggle with money. The best thing we have done for our finances is to set a time every week where we pay our bills and talk about money. It is Monday nights after Family Home Evening; usually after the kids have gone to bed. We both hate it. It makes Mondays really long. But it has been SO good for us. It keeps us both informed as to what is going on. It keeps us up-to-date on our bills and obligations and on the same page. I think it is important to talk about money before there is a crisis or some frustration. Having our weekly money time does that for us.
Another thing that has made our marriage happy is that I think we both know that the other person has our best interests at heart. I try to be supportive of Chad when there are things that he wants to do. I think that helps him feel like he doesn't HAVE to demand things. And he is very supportive of me. I know -even when he does things I don't like - that he really wants me to be happy.
Finally, I think it really helps if you can find someone as unselfish, hard-working, fun, helpful, sweet, strong, smart, dedicated, fun, and spiritual as I have. :)

Japan

I was just looking at some pictures from the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. There are so many things that can be taken from something like this... A guarded (or otherwise overwhelming) sorrow and sympathy for their suffering, a desire to help, a feeling of helplessness because the task is so great, a reminder that this life is not all there is, a gratitude for that faith, a guilty reminder of the value and necessity of food storage and emergency preparedness, a gratitude for humanitarian work, a re-realization that no matter what problems I might be facing right now, it could be so much worse, the reminder to count my blessings - while I have them.
One of the things I thought about was a talk by Elder Ballard a few years ago.
He said: "Several of the Brethren and I recently visited a few of the refugee centers in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas where devastated and displaced victims of Hurricane Katrina were staying as they began to try to put their lives back together. Their stories and situations are tragic and poignant in many ways, but in all that I heard, what touched me most was the crying out for family. "Where is my mother?" "I can't find my son." "I've lost a sister." These were hungry, frightened people who had lost everything and needed food, medical attention, and help of all kinds, but what they wanted and needed most was their families."
I think this is a good reminder of what REALLY matters most. The title of Elder Ballard's talk explains what I mean: "What Matters Most Is What Lasts Longest".

Completely

This is one of my favorite quotes lately. I have it hanging on the fridge. I guess I feel like I need to be reminded of this - A LOT.

"Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely." Deiter F. Uchtdorf, "The Love of God," Liahona, Nov. 2009, 21-24

Relief Society

I went Visiting Teaching yesterday and we were talking about Relief Society. I shared this experience from when we first moved to Oregon:
My Mom tried many times to teach me how to bake bread. I was never interested. Then I had kids. My desire to be a good homemaker grew, but bread scared me, and I had lost the chance to have my Mom teach me (we lived too far away). I was asked to serve on an Enrichment committee and they needed someone to bring rolls. I apologized that I couldn't because I didn't know how to bake bread. Barbara Jones (our Bishop's wife), quickly stepped in. "You will bring the rolls. I am coming to your house tomorrow and I am going to teach you how to bake bread." And she did. The next day she showed up at my door with the ingredients and her special bread-making bowl (an enormous Tupperware that had a tight-fitting lid - an extra, I later learned - that she GAVE me!), and she taught me how to make bread. I love this story because to me it demonstrates the beauty of belonging to Relief Society. I had a need that I couldn't meet on my own. One of my Relief Society sisters took time from her life to help. Because of her, I was enabled and enhanced. And I was able to use that new skill to serve others - and more importantly my family. I love Relief Society and I will ALWAYS be grateful to Sister Jones for teaching me to bake bread.

Work

I loved Elder Christofferson's talk last General Conference about a consecrated life. I have been thinking about what he said about work. "God has designed this mortal existence to require nearly constant exertion." Isn't that true?! And the work of my life is a lot less urgent than the work of most people throughout the history of time. They were basically trying to feed themelves and their families in order to survive. I am trying to clean my mirrors so we can look at ourselves without smudges. God really did design our lives to be MOSTLY work.

Elder Christofferson continued: "Work builds and refines character. ...A consecrated life is filled with work, sometimes repetitive, sometimes menial, sometimes unappreciated, but always work that improves, orders, sustains, lifts, ministers, aspires." There is something about work that is innately ennobling; the work itself - not whatever we are "getting done". There must be something about WORKING that is profoundly critical to our salvation. It makes sense to me, anyway, given the fact that God made, created, planned that SO much of our lives would be work. This idea is so freeing I think, especially as a mom. So many things don't get done, but if I can look at the work itself as the end - rather than a means to an end - then I am much happier to do what I can and let the rest go.